Arch Stanton writes,

Dear Mantis

So the world's largest insectoid, whose sole purpose is to monitor the broadcasts of global civilization, has had nothing to say for the entire length of history's most broadcast and controversial war?

Does this mantis only rant about easy targets like Justin Timberlake and Keanu Reeves? What kind of rebel voice is that? There's no revolution there. I could crap rants against pop society. Lets see the mantis grow some balls.

PS - If the mantis was killed during a surprise tomahawk missle raid at the beginning of the war, I apologize for my insensitive remarks.

Dear Arch

Thank you for your concerns. They are misplaced.

Thom Yorke. There's a funny chap. He's that skinny looking guy from miserable English pop-moppet collective Radiohead. He thought it would be a clever idea to call his bands new album 'Hail to the Thief' in reference to the fact that the current president of the U.S has no God damn legal right to sit where he does.

Do you know what I first thought when I heard that? I thought 'Oh honestly, silly sod. Fancy making such an asinine statement so prominently. Everyone KNOWS that Bush took power illegitimately, it's just an acknowledged historical fact. That, sir, is a crass and cynical attempt to win over the left-wing youth contingent by making a base political observation and passing it off as an act of rock'n'roll rebellion.'

But I was wrong. Apparently this move HAS been taken as something of a controversial statement. Apparently people ARE shocked that Radiohead would claim such a thing. Apparently Radiohead fans in the U.S are so disgusted by the very suggestion that they are repudiating their allegiance to the band. Apparently pointing out the bleeding obvious constitutes political analysis these days.

Well, I've made my mistake. That's the last time I give your species any credit, let me tall ya. I've certainly learned the error of YOUR ways. I shall be using MY ways in future.

For the sake of argument, let us assume that I don't realise that you are only trying to incite me (ta) into acts of ranting that you know full well I am prepared to take. Let us pretend that, in the manner of some dumb ass Radiohead 'fan' who has never actually listened to a god damn word the band said, you really HAVE missed the point of these pages entirely.

There exists in conventional scholarship a misguided tendency to separate 'history' and 'myth' as two separate and unrelated commodities. By this rationale 'history' is defined as something which resides exclusively in facts and figures, dates and lists. Myth, by contrast is dismissed as a fanciful thing, superfluous to history and which serves only to blur the facts.

In truth, myth is inextricably intertwined with history, and provides an invaluable barometer by which to measure the feelings of a people or uncover the motives and machinations of an authority. Myths exist to exaggerate, they exist to supplant that which is lacking. By their very fictionality they reveal that which is true. This is not the case only in the study of ancient culture, it extends into modernity. Your (yes your) perception of the second world war, for example, is as much an amalgam of myth and history (by way of countless war films and misinformed documentaries) as your perception of Arthurian legend.

For example, the TRUTH about recent events is that America launched an illegitimate and illegal attack upon Iraq, without a declaration of war, to secure control of its oil fields in the second of an increasingly elaborate shows of force, the ultimate goal of which is to secure a complete global governance.

The MYTH of recent events is that there was this bombing of Afghanistan which happened because the American government, bastions of righteousness that they are, were really incensed by the shocking affronts to freedom and liberty committed by the bad bad men that they KNEW FOR A FACT were hiding in caves there. Then, after that, they invaded Iraq, even though foolish cowardly types kept telling them not too, because they knew it was the right and just thing to do. They knew that Iraq had these big space gun thingies and that they WOULD damn well use them too, cos they hated freedom as well. Now the war has completely ended and there are no more killings or bombings or anything, and what's more the Iraqi people have been liberated and a new and fair system of government is going to be set up to make sure they can be as strong and free a nation as possible. No, honestly. It really was that straight forward. It was all about liberty and freedom and goodies and badies and stuff. That's what's been happening. Yesiree bob.

And there are people who believe that crap. Millions of them. Everywhere. Some of them will probably even write and complain that I just suggested anything to the contrary. And WHY do people believe this crap? How do you get someone to 'think' in those kind of terms? Because they already WERE thinking in those kind of terms, because that is the perception of reality the media provides you in all its forms. That is your mythology.

And I'm not talking about the news either. The propaganda and misinformation given to the 'civilised' world by its news media has been laughable in the extreme. Entirely fanciful notions, for example, that Iraqi civilian deaths numbered only in the thousands are so outlandishly ill conceived as to not even warrant commenting upon. I, the Atlantis Mantis, could have run a daily commentary on the contents of the 'news' these last months, but it would have been like taking candy from a baby.

What I perceive as infinitely more valid, and what is neglected elsewhere, is the deconstruction of misinformation at its source. The news merely panders to the lies that people already believe. They already believe them because they have been receiving conformation of their validity since birth through the 'entertainment' media.

The people who believe that the Iraqi conflict was justified believe so because the world is full of crap like Blackwawk Down, Pearl Harbor, The West Wing , even well-meaning but misguided efforts like Three Kings.

Heck, even Sesame Street is in on the act. There used to be this song on Seame street which went "we all sing with the same voice, the same tune, the same voice.." then showed children of all nations singing this silly fucking song. Well, my muppet friends, actually we DON'T all sing with the same fucking voice you stupid nationalistic bastards. The world is made up of all different cultures singing in completely DIFFERENT voices. Some people aren't even singing the same fucking song and they LIKE it like that. That's the way it SHOULD be, ACTUALLY. When will you stupid cunts realise that all those moralistic endings where everyone comes together and decides to be the same and world peace ensues are FUCKED UP!

There. I took candy from a baby. Happy now?

I'm not saying the war happened BECAUSE of these things. The war happened because politicians are all bastards and they do what the fuck they like and there's nothing you the people can say to stop them. But people SUPPORT their actions because of the misinformed perspectives offered by these shitty films and the shitty shows that orbit them.

The war had NOTHING to do with George Bush or Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin Laden or Tony Blair or any other fucker. These so called 'leaders' of yours are just puppets and front men. Wars are fought because of complex issues of economy and geo-politics and industry, and they are fought with a complete disregard for human life on either side. They are NOT fucking Kung-fu films, and the sooner your species stop basing your political 'opinions' on the theatrical 'cult of the individual' bullshit that politics contrives to protect you from the mechanics of governance - the sooner you will BEGIN to have the slightest fucking idea what is happening under your nose. I only pandered to the 'Bush vs Saddam' mythology, by mentioning the presidents illegitimacy in my off-hand Thom Yorke fashion, because apparently this information warrants repetition. The fact is it doesnt matter WHO the fuck is sitting up there, the same things would have happened, and I think Bush's immediately apparent pig-ignorance stands as testimony to this.

What you are pretending to not realise, Arch ol' buddy, is that almost all the rants already ARE about the Iraqi conflict, and its causes, in one way or another, and rest assured will continue to be so. It's ALL a fucking movie, my dear boy.

Also, let's be practical. I wouldn't get very far destroying civilisation if I could be stopped by a tomahawk missile, now would I? I am, of course, impervious to your puny human weaponry. Furthermore, the Atlantis Mantis does not have 'balls' per se. I instead have a huge thorax full of exploding death parasite thingies. So there.